Meet Luis: A Man Who Knows Dirt and Knows Nothing About Baseball

Okay, so. There is a man at our yard named Luis. And there are two things you should know about him before you call.

Thing one: Luis knows dirt.

Caliche. Hardpan. That weird gypsum-colored stuff out by the airport that eats hydraulics for breakfast. If El Paso has dumped it on a job site since 1989, Luis has been on the radio with a contractor explaining why the machine they want is the wrong one and the machine they need is already on the lowboy.

Luis has talked more than one GC out of a CAT 320 and into a compact excavator. Luis has also talked one GC into a CAT 320 after the GC said “we just need a Bobcat.” (The GC called him back. Said Luis was right. Luis said, “I know.”)

Thing two: Luis does not know baseball.

And we do not mean “Luis is a casual fan who could not name the Padres’ starting rotation.” We mean Luis once asked, in a real human voice, out loud, in front of witnesses: “Wait, the World Series is just baseball? It’s not, like, the world?”

Yes, Luis. It’s just baseball.

• Luis thinks a “balk” is when a forklift won’t start.
• Luis thinks “DH” stands for “delivery hour.”
• Luis once told a contractor’s son, age nine, that the Diamondbacks were “a metal band, probably.”

So why are we telling you this?

Because there is a lesson in here for everyone in the rental business, and it is this: find the thing your guy actually knows, and let him be great at it.

The yards that try to be everything to everyone end up being nothing to anyone. We are a yard that knows iron, dirt, and the people who move it. We are not the yard that knows the bullpen ERA. We are not even the yard that knows what an ERA is. (Luis just looked it up. He thought it was an air freshener brand.)

You want a quote on a machine? Call us. You want to argue about whether Acuña was robbed of an MVP? Call literally anyone else. Por favor.